Have you seen the orkin man, the orkin man, the orkin man

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio.

Everyone's a Critic

Doggy knew he was supposed to give 10% of his pay to the Church of Scientology.  But he just saw Mission Impossible 3 and to be frank, he thought Tom Cruise was kind of a jerk.

2 am

You are not the emperor of anything.

Organic Revolution

Sandra didn't care anymore how healthy organic home-grown vegetables were anymore.  She wasn't wasting one more Saturday afternoon pulling weeds while Dale was inside in the air-conditioning playing with his tropical fish.  The plants are going in the compost heap, and she's taking the kids into Scottsdale to the new McDonalds.

Falling Down

Later, much later, Molly tried to explain to the police that she was just trying to talk to her boss, tell him that she felt unappreciated and underpaid. Then it just all got out of hand so quickly...

Long the Mile

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
    This debt we pay to human guile;
    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

The Earth is Free

Tom was worried about the new anti-squatting laws.  What was going to happen to them? 

Musical Anthropology

Video killed the dinosaur.

Extra Weekend call-out charge

When the door fell off the washing machine, Caroline cast her mind back to her philosophy course work. It's been a long time since she got pregnant and dropped out of grad school, however she's pretty sure in Logical Fallacies, they never covered 'shit happens'.

Ancient is the new 30

Fucking. Albatross.

Accounting has a lot of grey area

Jane had only been working as a bookkeeper for a short time, but she knew two things.  Firstly, the trial balance must always balance.  Secondly, Mr. Landon was using petty cash to pay for prostitutes.

Acceptance

When he got back from TGIFridays, Robert the Robot decided to close his match.com account.  Maybe it he should ring his auntie and ask for the number of that robot working on the SETI project that her hairdresser knows.  She sounded a little kookie, but maybe he would find it fun in time.

Worst Date Ever

Jeanette didn't care if Robert the Robot could calculate pi to the 7,345th place in 10 seconds.  What did he know about love, life and passion?